Elizabeth and William Reed: Kindness and bullying are both contagious. a free; The other cost us our entire fortune—our beloved son.
by Elizabeth and William ReedThe 74
This story appeared first 74A non-profit news site covering education. Sign up for the free newsletter from The 74 Get more like this in your inbox.
If your child is sick and there may be a cure, don’t you want to try it? It may be flu season, but there’s another contagion lurking in our school halls. Although there is no vaccine for this disease, injecting kindness back into school can provide protection and even save lives. Bullying One of the most damaging issues affecting students today, and in some cases even taking lives.
There has been considerable debate in schools and among policymakers to ensure that American students are keeping up academically. Research shows that the COVID-19 pandemic and school closures had a significant negative impact on student learning.
This debate over academic skills, while well-intentioned, is ultimately failing our kids. It completely ignores that American students are falling behind on a far more important developmental goal: moral competence.
The failure to emphasize kindness, respect and character in our schools is encouraging other behaviors to fill that void. The epidemic of bullying is spreading in classrooms and affecting students across the country. The numbers tell the story: According to the Pew Research Center Study Published last year, nearly 60% of teenagers identified bullying as a common issue in their school. One in five say it’s extremely common, and among teenagers it’s cited as the second biggest problem affecting students today. Previous studies have shown that two out of five students say they have been bullied on school property, and nearly half have been victims of cyberbullying.
Three years ago, we lost our 17-year-old son to bullying. We sent a healthy, happy 16-year-old boy to a new school eager to make friends. He was kind to all, a leader and wanted a life of public service. This makes him a target. His reputation was destroyed within a year by falsehoods spread in person and online, through school elections. While he stood up for himself till his last breath, he suffered from plain sight and Died by suicide – Unnecessarily, shunned and alone.
After his death, we learned that many schools, including our son’s, have no legal obligation to protect your child from bullying. We advocate change. No child should have to endure the cruelty, pain and suffering that Jack did.
The campaign for change took an important step in October when New York Governor Cathy Hochul signed The Jack Reed Act Addressing bullying in schools and expanding protections already provided for public school students to state independent schools. A diverse coalition of caring legislators and faith-based and independent school leaders worked with us to pass the law, giving New York’s half a million private school students the most basic human right: to feel safe. The law ensures that when a child comes forward or bullying is witnessed, the school is obliged to act immediately: investigate, communicate and respond.
But these policy changes are solutions to an epidemic that requires bigger solutions than new laws. We know the remedy. Bullying is like an insidious disease that thrives in cultures where character and kindness are not nurtured.
The main aim of our schools must be to teach skills and values for life, not just improving test results. It means respect for others and their differences. It means civilization; Don’t just read the student handbook, save it. And that means calling out — and addressing — behaviors and actions that threaten the school climate for everyone.
Bullying cannot be viewed as acceptable or tolerated behavior. The old adage that it will “toughen them up” or is “part of growing up” is outdated and misguided. The bullying our kids are facing today isn’t typical playground teasing — our kids no longer feel safe at school, and because of social media, that fear is brought home. Ask yourself: How can you learn algebra in the classroom if you’re afraid of what might happen in the hallway?
only Seven states There are safeguards for every child. It is unacceptable. We need to help the remaining four million private and parochial school students at risk. The anti-bullying mandate actually reaffirms our school’s mission: teach the whole child. We hope the Jack Reed Act is a wake-up call. Law is a meaningless symbol if it is not alive. A matter of climate and culture. It must begin with school leaders and flow through the entire school system: from the chemistry teacher to the gym coach and to every child.
Kindness and bullying are both contagious. a free; The other cost us our entire fortune—our beloved son. Which one do you want in your school?
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This is the story is produced by 74A nonprofit, independent news organization focused on education in America.
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