by Meera Foxwith forward
This story was originally published by Forward. Click here Forward’s free email newsletters to be delivered to your inbox.
It’s a classic Guess who’s coming to dinner Set-up: A family’s first meeting with their daughter’s boyfriend goes awry when they find out he’s not who they imagined.
In before marriageA new film starring Jim O’Hare Parks and RecreationSophie (Kelley Jakle), a pastor’s daughter, returns to her anonymous Midwestern town from New York City to get married at the family church. This, during the week of their wedding, is apparently the first time anyone in the family has met Alan (Mark Hapka). And, as they sit down to say grace over dinner, the problem is revealed.
“Oh, oh – you’re a Catholic,” O’Hare says as Pastor Stewart, nodding sagely.
“I’m nothing,” replied Alan, who is an evolutionary biologist. “I’m not religious at all.”
Hijinks ensue. The family gathers to devise a plan to convert the scientist — mostly involving playing baseball and mini golf while debating biblical truths and creating various disasters to try to get him to consider the power of God.
Although before marriage A warm comedy about understanding each other, it’s underpinned by a palpable sense of satire on religion, which is the butt of every joke, though the jokes are more light-hearted eye rolls than sharp jabs.
“Science took us to the moon – where did religion get us?” asks Alan. “Western Civilization!” By yelling at Pastor Stewart as fireworks explode behind him, the filmmakers clearly remember what religion actually did. (Writer and director Robert Ingraham’s biography says he needed “therapy” for his upbringing “in the strict framework of conservative religion”.)
Still, Sophie—who stopped going to church long ago—repeatedly begs Alan to lie about smooth things with his family. Would it be so bad to say that he accepted Jesus? Especially since he does not believe that religion has any power, he says that he should not change anything as a Christian.
The thing is—spoiler alert—Alan isn’t just an atheist; He is Jewish, a fact that may inform his particular level of resistance to these white lies. But that revelation is left until almost the end of the movie, when Alan’s parents come to town for a wedding and bring a ketubah, saying they’re not religious but thought it would be a nice nod to tradition.
“Wow, Abraham’s seed in my own daughter,” Stewart muttered in a tone of reverence. (Not incidentally, he makes random Holocaust references throughout the movie, usually in connection with his belief that Christians are being persecuted in modern American society.)
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Stuart asked Alan, clearly worried. “The Old Testament is, my second favorite Testament!”
And that’s about it for Judaism before marriage. One wonders why it is all there.
The movie focuses on Alan’s scientific background while examining his problems with Christianity. He debates the rationality of religion with Stewart, making points about evolution and the historical development of the biblical text. Judaism never comes up — although there is a particular resistance to converting many Jews to Christianity, you know, centuries of persecution.
Likewise, we explore why Stewart Allan is so relieved to understand the Jew. After all, Alan’s whole family is secular and Alan is no less an atheist than before. This moment could have been fodder for some insight into the Christian fetishization of Jews, or at least some more jokes, but it’s quickly brushed aside.
before marriageIn the end, it feels like a Hallmark movie. It’s sappy, it’s silly, it’s cliché, but its jokes are low-stakes and O’Hare brings his perfect comedic timing. It is a pleasant watch. Of course, Hallmark would never mock Christianity so openly, but before marriage Still a Christian movie. Much of the movie is devoted to exposing the apparent piety of each family member and outlining a vision of a more acceptable Christianity. Stewart realizes that she needs to learn to be flexible in her beliefs, and find room to appreciate her children for who they really are – in short, to be a true Christian, one who doesn’t judge like Jesus. The movie may poke fun at religion, but ultimately its message affirms Christianity—at least a definitive lesson on what it should be.
But Judaism is made a quickly-forgotten prop in that message—which is, in a way, a sharp commentary on Christianity’s symbolic relationship with Jews. may be before marriage After all there is something to say.
This story was originally published by Forward.
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Previously published On forward
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