–
The right compliment at the right time
The right compliment at the right time is one of the most powerful ways to create attraction. And the best thing about compliments is that you are in control of them. They don’t involve waiting for someone else to notice you.
Appreciation is the opposite. In a world where our social muscles have been atrophied by phone addiction and few people are willing to be brave enough to approach someone in real life, it’s good to have a tool in your belt that enables you to bridge the gap between you and the other person—and create attraction at the same time.
In this article, I’m going to talk about why compliments work, why they’re especially powerful when used with men, and the five compliments that thousands of men have revealed had the biggest impact on them—the ones they can’t forget.
.
Here’s a summary of the transcript from YouTube, slightly edited with AI.
attraction formula
What is it about compliments, and how are they related to attraction?
Let me very briefly explain a formula I’ve been talking about for a decade: the law of attraction. Deep and lasting attraction has four parts – chemistry, perceived value, perceived challenge and connection.
I don’t have time to go into all of this, but I want to explain how compliments relate to the three parts of the attraction formula.
chemistry
Have you ever noticed that when someone says something nice about you — or when you know someone likes you or thinks highly of you — from the point they step into the front room, they suddenly appear on your radar in a different way?
It’s like they look brighter when they enter a room because they’ve noticed you.
So when we compliment someone else, we put ourselves on their radar in a way that makes us shine brighter to them. Chemistry can actually stem from discovering that someone thinks something positive about us.
connection
Compliments also build connections.
When we appreciate someone in a way that makes them feel truly seen, it creates a deeper connection. The best compliments make people feel that you see them in a way that other people don’t.
perceived value
The third part of the attraction formula that relates to appreciation is perceived value.
When people see us and feel that their value is recognized – especially when it’s a deep value to them that they don’t normally see – you become special to them.
Why compliments have such an effect on men
Before mentioning the five compliments that men find memorable, why do compliments affect men in particular?
Because average people are not used to getting them.
When you read comments from men talking about their compliments, they often say something like, “It’s not the words—it’s what he notices.”
One man said, “I can remember every true compliment I’ve ever received from a woman. There are only five.”
How rare it is for many men.
Women’s comments often back this up. A woman said that when her male colleague told her that she had great leadership qualities. He said that no one had said such a thing to him before.
One of the most common misconceptions about men is the idea that looks are important to them. This may be true for a certain type of man, but there are a large number of men who value something greater: feeling seen, feeling special, and feeling accepted.
When men experience these things, it can leave an indelible mark on them.
I think what’s undervalued right now is men’s need to feel wanted, wanted and appreciated.
Ironically, this may be partially responsible for the explosion of male-focused podcasts, YouTube channels, and men’s groups. Some of these places teach resilience and discipline. Others create environments where men feel safe to share thoughts they may not have expressed before. Still others mix emotional intelligence with traditional masculinity.
All of these voices speak to men’s desire—either to learn how to be lovable or to feel understood and accepted for who they already are.
Throughout my career, I’ve heard many women ask, “Where are the men who are working?”
I tell them they have millions—but you might not see it because the work they’re doing rarely seems like the kind of work women are doing.
While society talks a lot about women feeling invisible, especially as they age, there’s less discussion about how invisible and unseen men may feel—how concerned they are that they don’t measure up to other men or what they believe women want.
Men may not always show vulnerability easily, but in truth, many feel more vulnerable than ever.
Compliment #1: “You make me feel safe”
The first – and most influential – compliments say they get: “You make me feel safe.”
This is interesting to me because I have some viral videos about appreciation. In fact, one of the top videos on my YouTube channel — with over 21 million views — is about appreciation, and it goes back a few years.
In that video, I said the biggest compliment you can give a man is: “I feel so safe whenever I’m around you.”
Just saying that to a guy can make him look like Superman.
This leads me to believe that I was more right than I realized—or that the video influenced how many men later received that compliment.
Why is this praise so powerful?
Because it speaks to basic male instincts: the desire to protect and provide emotional security—not through dominance, but through gentleness and strength.
It makes her feel powerful and like she’s having a positive influence on you.
Compliment #2: “I really respect the way you handle things.”
Second compliments mean the most to them: “I really respect how you handled it.”
It speaks directly to a man’s sense of character.
It says, “I have observed your integrity in action.”
It affirms competence, judgment, and emotional maturity—qualities that many men define themselves as but rarely get credit for.
Respect is like oxygen for many men. When it’s genuine—not honorable, but discreet—it shows a man as capable and respectable.
Compliment #3: “You have such a calm energy.”
The third compliment men mean most to them: “You have such a calming or grounding energy.”
It validates men for who they are – not just what they do.
It shows him that his presence alone is powerful for you, that he changes the room just by being in it.
One man said, “When a woman told me that my energy calmed her down, I felt seen in a way I’d never seen before. It wasn’t about what I looked like or what I did. It was about who I was.”
Men are used to being noticed when they perform or produce results. This compliment says, “You’re important even when you’re not acting.”
Compliment #4: “You’re really thoughtful.”
The fourth compliment men said meant the world to them: “You’re really thoughtful.”
It’s his attention to your needs, his empathy, and the little things he does without you asking.
I know this can be hard for some women to hear, especially if they are dealing with men who are not at all considerate. And I do not advise you to give this praise where it is not earned.
Sincerity is important.
But when a man does truly thoughtful work and those efforts are noticed, it can mean a lot to him.
For many men, being praised for these small acts is like water in the desert.
Compliment #5: “I like the way you think”
The fifth compliment that thousands of men have said meant the most to them: “I like the way you think.”
This one resonated with me personally. Anytime my wife Audrey says something like that to me, it means a lot.
There is something powerful about feeling appreciated for the way you see things, connect ideas, or express yourself.
Many men relate deeply to someone by saying, “I’m fascinated by the way you look.”
Appreciation for the way you think can be incredibly meaningful.
your turn
If you were a man reading this, which of these five compliments would mean the most to you?
And if you’re a woman, what do you admire about someone that means the world to them?
Share your thoughts in the comments.
–
This post was Previously published on YouTube.
Blog → https://www.howtogettheguy.com/blog/ Facebook → https://facebook.com/CoachMatthewHussey Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/thematthewh… Twitter → https://twitter.com/matthehussey ▼ Connect with Stephen ▼ Youtube → https://bit.ly/StephenHusseyYoutube Instagram → http://bit.ly/StephenHusseyIG
***
In the substack? Follow us there For more great dating and relationship content.
–
Photo credit: splash
