who are you
Everyone looks surprised. Discuss some complicated details. Almost everyone hides something that makes them vulnerable. The desire to be valued is a powerful human instinct. The receptive instinct is a magnetic pull that is as irresistible to us as a heavy iron ball that sits deep in the chest.
An iron ball is an apt analogy. These feelings are heavy. They weigh the least. These feelings developed in us for a reason.
reason to live
As a communal species, social acceptance separated those who lived from those who died for nearly half a million years.
Adaptation was a necessary survival instinct. In our ancestors’ quest for survival, they evolved in accordance with tribal conditions. Inevitably the efforts of our ancestors have propelled us into the present age. An era no longer fraught with tiger menace, unwelcome attacks from outsiders and random disasters resulting in starvation.
In this new age, the secret person can reveal himself; however, Not without great reluctance.
The secret person we all hide.
Secretive people are afraid to reveal their search history to their closest relatives. The secretive person is afraid to discuss their true attraction with their fiancé. A secret person is a person whose strange behavior remains in the dark after dark when spending the night with his wife.
In this rejection our true man – each one lives longing for what he wants…True unconditional love.
How to be your secret self
the courage. It’s easy. acronym The word is not complicated. Your answer is to dare to be your secret self. Although the answer is simple – it does not provide a solution to how one becomes brave.
Many say they want to do what they dare not do.
How can you change?
As with anything, change begins with training. small steps Step towards discomfort, struggle and will power. cold shower Shuffle planks for five seconds. Sit cross-legged for five minutes while straining your back. These things seem small but they are daily training for the courage to be vulnerable and uncomfortable. They are preconditions for pain when you are rejected.
Rejection will happen.
There can be no quality of courage in a person who is forever comfortable, refuses to struggle and musters no willpower on a daily basis.
Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. There is progress on the other side of the pain.
Detachment from results
Effort is always enough. I tell my daughter this constantly. It is not acceptable to perform poorly. Quite the opposite. Focusing only on effort is how one achieves their maximum output. A distracted mind that thinks about anything other than the task at hand has about half of it.
One cannot be fully present and wonder about future events.
My twelve-year-old nephew discovered first place in the 100mm sprint when he was no longer focused on finishing first. He discovers a spot that finds something and stays in this spot until his sprint is over. I saw it in his face. I congratulated him. Not for victory, but for the will to persevere through extreme discomfort.
The results took care of themselves. There he not only improved his time by five seconds but blew everyone away by seven seconds.
Focused only on the task at hand. There was no focus on results.
love for love
Can you love someone when they are hurting you?
Can you hug someone when they are pushing you away?
Can you tell someone what you admire most about them after they’ve insulted you?
If not, don’t feel bad. Many cannot. If you can’t, you’re more concerned about equity than love. Equity is not a bad thing. It simply means you are interested in fair treatment. Some call this a performance-based relationship. Others call it a conditional relationship.
These relationships can be quite healthy. They can be quite beneficial. They can be very helpful. They are all discussed by anyone now a days. My description of the relationship sounds like an unhealthy relationship with no boundaries.
It is not.
Fairness relationships are great – they’re not just love relationships. At least not classically. The funny thing is that everyone instinctively knows classical love. It is found in our children. It is found in our parents. We love from trust not trust in this relationship. Proof of performance is required to provide the trust. Trust is unconditional belief without evidence.
All babies initially love their mothers with confidence. All mothers love their children with confidence during the first birth. TThere is no evidence for either – Yet a mother will lay down her life for a newborn.
This is the love we all desire. This is the love we all want. This is the love that eludes almost every romantic relationship. Can you do this with a spouse who divorced you? How about that one that hurts you? How about that person who disappoints you? I have faced this gauntlet. I am not super human. I did it. I do it now. Why can’t you?
Concluding verse
New Testament. The Epistles of Paul. 1 Corinthians (13:4-7) “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or proud or proud or rude. It does not claim its own way. It’s not annoying, and it keeps no record of being unfair. It does not rejoice in injustice but rejoices whenever truth triumphs. Love never gives up, never loses faith, always optimistic and endures in every situation.” (NLT)
off
Now ask yourself honestly, “Do I ever really love my spouse?“Read above and you’ll realize you were just being righteous. It’s never too late to start loving. Just do it today. Stop being righteous. Leave it to business. Your relationship is not a commercial endeavor. Stop treating crime like a breach of contract.
Sign up for free to hear for free In my chapter “Many ways to profit“To read about how I see things. My dynamic form of observing and reframing will help you accomplish things like what I discuss in today’s article. I have a free podcast Hustle kick Also which teaches you how to hustle for free.
You can pick up a copy of my international best-selling and award-winning book, “I made it then I didn’t” as well as for deep insight into some of the psychology I use to get me through difficult situations.
This article is meant to provoke thought – not argument. It is a way of opening the mind to alternative ideologies based on what one reads – not what one hears. Beliefs are personal and of course I respect everyone’s personal beliefs. I don’t condemn anyone for choosing whatever path — obviously I mean choosing my own.
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