I am sitting in a quiet house somewhere in the Yorkshire hills.
A fire is burning before me.
And for the first time in a long time, I realized that I had actually stepped into a life that I had once imagined.
Why?
Because I’m a girl with a dream. I have seen that dream for a long time, and now I am sitting inside it. My wonder has come true, even though the world outside is going a little crazy.
The funny thing is, I’ve been so engrossed in living that now, as I sit in front of this beautiful fireplace, I realize that I actually captured this moment.
Through the busyness of everyday life, I kept imagining myself in nature, surrounded by peace and like-minded people — a place to escape chaos. Yet I never realized that it had quietly become true.
I booked this weekend in December. I didn’t give much then though. I just saw one Women’s circle, meditation, yoga…and went for it.
I have made a decision.
I didn’t overthink it – normal thoughts: how will I manage, I can’t afford it, kids, responsibilities…
And now here I am. Gobsmacked. A little surprised.
Disclosure works.
One way or another, without force, I decided to give myself love.
No butterflies.
But something much more powerful.
A man — tired, happy, hopeful, real — with dark circles under his eyes and a few wrinkles here and there.
A man who realizes that he may have found balance – the golden key of life. Not happiness or constant tension, just balance.
Neither side is overpowering the other.
This weekend, for the first time in a while, I choose rest over stress, peace over noise, and honesty over pretense. I allowed myself to slow down, breathe and simply be.
I am not here to prove anything.
It’s about coming back to myself—listening to my body and soul and honoring them without guilt.
When was the last time you respected yourself?
When was the last time you listened in and responded carefully?
without excuse With simple permission for your own existence.
Despite feeling tired and overwhelmed by life, I suddenly feel hopeful. I feel like life is worth living again, as I regain the strength to carry on.
Thursday I felt bored. I didn’t know what to do or where to go.
Today is Saturday.
And I think I have wings to fly.
What changes?
I have made a decision for myself.
I didn’t choose a completely new direction.
I just stopped walking in survival mode and started walking by choice.
Because the truth is, we’re not here to find love.
We are here to realize that we are love.
And if we take care of ourselves and tend to our own being, we can go further than we think possible.
Yet most of the time, we just keep going.
without interruption
I want you to know this:
You are allowed to say,
“It’s hard and I’m tired.”
Without it means you are not coping.
Without it means you are disappointed.
Without it means you are failing.
You are not failing.
You are simply acknowledging the present moment.
And instead of the world giving you thousands of ways to heal, maybe you just need one.
Listen inside.
Let your inner voice come through.
Sit with it for a while… and who knows where it might take you.
Don’t let the world erase the part of you that can still see wonder.
Please protect it.
Nurture it.
Because a calm decision to choose yourself might not give you butterflies.
But it just might give you wings.
with love
Patricia
Author and spiritual saint. Embracing healing, love and wonder in life. The storyteller is on a journey to discover who “I” and the real “I” are.
–
This post was Previously published at medium.com.
Love affair? We promise a better stay with your inbox.
Subscribe to get dating and relationship advice 3x weekly.
do you know We have 8 publications on Medium. Join us there!
***
–
Photo credit: Benjamin Hayward on Unsplash
