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Here’s a summary of the transcript from YouTube, slightly edited with AI.
Frustrated with apps?
About half of US adults say dating is harder now than it was a decade ago. If you’re frustrated with endless swiping, ghosting, and dead-end chat, you’re not alone.
One Reddit user wrote, “I’ve wasted a lot of time trying to meet people through apps. In eight years, I’ve met zero people in person.”
If any of this resonates – the cynicism, the exhaustion, the “will I die alone?” Joke – take a breath. You are not doomed.
Pew data from 2023 shows that one in ten couples have actually met through an app. Now, that number may be a bit higher today—perhaps around 25 to 30%—but more than half of people still meet in everyday life: through friends, work, or chance encounters.
So in this video, I want to share five practical tips for how you can meet people offline—whether you’re taking a break from apps or you just want to know you don’t need them.
1. Say “yes” to invitations you would normally decline
Research on our thoughts shows that we have thousands of thoughts every day – and most of them are the exact same thoughts we had yesterday.
I think the same is true of what we do day to day. Most of our lives are routine. They’re repeating. So if we want to meet new people then we have to introduce something new in our life.
I remember going back to London one Christmas. A friend I rarely saw invited me to her engagement party. I really didn’t want to go. i was tired I had jet lag. But I said yes.
And I’m so thankful that I did, because that decision changed the course of my entire life. I met my wife Audrey at that party.
Even if you don’t meet the love of your life, every invitation is an opportunity to expand your network. You may not meet someone romantically, but you may meet someone who introduces you to someone else down the line.
Especially valuable for this strategy are the people we call your “weak ties”—acquaintances, people you don’t know well, people you don’t see often.
I know it’s scary and out of your comfort zone to go to a place where you don’t know many people. But you never know when it’s going to pay off in life-changing ways.
Reconnect lifelong emotional patterns
Speaking of stepping outside your comfort zone, this is your last chance to attend my one and only retreat for 2025 happening in the next two weeks.
The retreat will show you how to reconnect with a lifetime of deep emotional patterns so you can finally see what’s possible for you in love and life when you step into the most confident, calm and powerful version of yourself.
For the first time, you can retreat from home with a virtual experience—for just $195.
the head retreataccess.com Grab your ticket.
If you’re busy that weekend, you’ll also have two weeks to watch the replay. Plus, I’m including 30 days of free access to Matthew AI so you can continue to get support after you return.
If you miss it, you have to wait a whole year. So get your tickets today—I’ll see you in a few weeks.
2. Set yourself micro missions
When you say yes to invitations you’d normally decline, excuses come up—time, energy, introversion.
This is where trick number two comes in: Set yourself micro missions.
When I traveled around the world doing events, I would get into my hotel after the flight and be completely alone. Back then, I couldn’t afford a team to travel with me.
I’ll feel ripped off. I will go out and see the city. But I also wanted to stay in bed and order room service, the introvert that I am.
Here is what I did. I set a rule: I had to go somewhere nearby—a small bar or coffee shop—and have a drink. That’s it. a drink After that, I could come home, order room service, and go to bed.
The beauty of this mission was twofold. First, I did it because I lowered the stakes. Second, sometimes things happen. I met people. I had a great night. Not always – but sometimes.
And those moments would never have happened if I hadn’t set a simple to complete mission.
You can do the same. Determine how long you will stay somewhere. “I’ll go 30 minutes or an hour, and if I don’t have a good time, I can go home.”
You can set a continuation mission. “I’m going to do one new thing out of my routine every two weeks.”
Remember: trajectory over intensity.
Or set a social mission. If you’re going to a party where you don’t know many people, just focus on meeting one new person. You don’t have to work the whole room. Just have a meaningful interaction.
3. Practice small interactions
Strategy number three: Practice small interactions.
Make it a point to chat briefly with people as you go about your day in a low-stakes way.
Admire someone’s cool t-shirt in line at the grocery store. Ask a barista how their day is going. Compliment someone’s pet: “Your dog is adorable — what’s his name?”
This micro interaction does two things.
First, they remind your brain that most people are friendly and happy to chat if approached kindly.
Second, they make you more confident when it matters. It’s like warming up before a big game.
If the choice is between saying something obvious and not saying anything, choose the obvious thing every time.
One of my favorite mindsets is: I want to go into every room and dare other people. If I make it easy for them to talk to me by being warm and friendly, more people will come.
Invest in something that brings joy
Audrey and I are in full minimalism mode, getting ready for a baby. We’re bringing in things that bring joy and removing things that don’t
One of the things that sparks joy for us right now is a cozy earth blanket. Audrey is practically living in their Bubble Cuddle Blanket, and we even got the cozy Earth Baby Blanket to prepare for our little one.
If you want to simplify your space and invest in things that truly bring joy, cozyearth.com and use the code love is life For 20% off.
Now, back to the episode.
4. Join communities that align with your goals already
You don’t need to overload your schedule to meet people.
Instead, align social opportunities with goals you already have.
Attend a charity event that you want to attend. Take a salsa class. Attend a public speaking workshop.
Or create a social version of something you’re already doing. If you love photography, join a photography club. If you’re into fitness, try a group class or running club.
The goal is not to add more time to your calendar. Using the time you’re already investing in yourself and making it social.
5. Learn to exchange details casually
At some point, when you meet someone, you’ll want to exchange details.
You can say, “If you’re open to it, it would be great to stay connected. What’s the best way to stay in touch?”
You can add, “I can send you the podcast we’re talking about.”
If you’re leaving to reconnect with friends, you can say, “I want to get back to my friends, but I really enjoyed talking to you. Why don’t we exchange numbers and talk sometime?”
Notice what’s powerful about this: You’re the one leaving. You are not late. You are just opening the door.
You can also give someone your number, which is less stressful: “Hey, let me give you my number. If you ever want to continue the conversation, shoot me a text.”
Once you’ve exchanged details, the key is to keep up the momentum with messages that create attraction and connection.
And remember: you don’t need an app to meet someone. You just need movement. You need innovation. You need small, bold actions repeated consistently.
Let me know in the comments which of these strategies are most important to you right now. And thank you, as always, for being a part of this.
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This post was Previously published on YouTube.
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