“We tear ourselves apart so quickly that we should heal from things so quickly that by thirty we’re bankrupt and have less to offer whenever we start over with someone new. But to feel nothing for the sake of feeling something—what a waste!”
Call Me By Your Name — Andre Aciman
I first heard this line while watching that movie six years ago and it still weighs heavily on my chest. Because if I’m honest, there was a time when I would do anything to make myself feel less.
Maybe you were there too.
You pour so much into someone, your time, your energy, your tenderness — and sometimes you end up empty-handed and with a broken heart. It makes you wonder: What’s wrong with me? What should I stop giving? Should I stop feeling completely?
I get it. That protective voice gets louder when you’re hurt.
But here’s what I learned the hard way, and today I want to gently remind you:
All the love you give never disappears.
It may not come back from the same person, or exactly the way you expected. But it comes back. Sometimes calmer, kinder, in better shape. new people A deeper connection. A version of love that actually feels safe to accept.
Every time we get burned, it tempts us to tear off another part of ourselves, to give less next time, to defend harder, or to become completely numb. And yes, we must learn. We should create better boundaries when we lose ourselves. But don’t let the bad chapters convince you that your way of loving is wrong.
You still have a lot of love left. And yet there are people out there who deserve it – people who would feel lucky to be loved by you
Who is left behind? They got a version of you. Are those still coming? They can be richer.
I often think – what if I stopped? What if I let those experiences cool me down?
I will miss it all.
I missed the love I was ready to receive. The love I wanted to give. I’ll miss the amazing ones shown later. I was stuck, repeating old pains when life offered me something better.
Don’t let pain turn you into something you’re not. People are waiting for you to sit at their table.
With love, Laura 💌
