become a member Cost as low as $4/month and enjoy unlimited reading of the TSLL blog.
The dream life that won’t leave your mind. It dances at the forefront of your thoughts, seemingly without any encouragement. . . And this dream has been going on for years.
Why should we believe this dream? can Be faithful? may be You dream of an entire career out of the experience of someone you know. Maybe your dream goes against the logic that was drilled into you growing up. Or maybe, your dream defies the ideals of the culture you currently live in, whether in a big or small way. Whatever your dream is, if it is still a dream still unrealized, yet it comes back again and again and grabs your attention, it is trying to find out how to bring it to you because it is aligned with something that will bring you peace.
Over the past 17 years of writing here on the TSLL blog, I’ve shared many dreams that have come true. Each of them remained a dream for a while, but because they wouldn’t leave me alone (thank you for your persistence!), I believed in something I didn’t realize at the time – the truth about me that hadn’t yet awakened, yet was waiting to be part of my life.
Every dream I finally realized – moving to Bend, Oregon (it took two real attempts to make it happen, the next year, after a decade of dreaming), speak french Comfortably well (admittedly, still not perfect, but B1.3), buying a cottage, becoming a full-time writer and being my own boss – it took time, but as each one came to fruition, a part of me finally began to blossom and peace flooded my days in a way I’d never known before.
I share this reflection because from time to time when new dreams don’t come to my mind, I need to remind myself to believe in them. And it’s those dreams that won’t let go, their tenacity a reassuring reminder that I can believe in whatever they want me to do.
The vivid ideas we seek and bring into being to actually experience on our journey are not random and they do not happen to everyone. They are yours, and they are trying to get your attention for a reason.
Okay, so you’ve identified the dream that returns to your conscious mind or won’t leave your mind. Let’s look at six steps to embrace, and in doing so, lead you to realize your dream, to experience it as your new reality.
1. Assess how you feel when the dream arises and you imagine experiencing it
To give yourself confidence that this is indeed a worthwhile endeavor, assess how you feel when you imagine yourself living this dream. Author and life coach Martha Beck Explains how he navigates his own life journey and decides which direction to take. If a sense of complete peace washes over him, he moves confidently in that direction. “In my life,” she says, “I’ve found that the feeling of being pulled by my heart and soul is a kind of longing mixed with peace—and believing that I can get what I want.”
If you think about this dream, the corners of your mouth automatically go up, but take it as a sure sign that you should take steps towards its implementation.
2. Understand your hesitation and where it originates
“Because your dreams scare your ego. They may involve missteps, risks, discomfort, and strangers. The ego doesn’t want you to move into the unknown, and all adventure has to go into the unknown.” –Terry Kozlowski
It’s normal to feel fear whenever we consider doing something new or different, and especially if it’s something we perceive as expected. As shared above in the quote, when we understand our ego’s motivation, we can put it in its place. Our ego is not going to be our friend during the chosen transition. It likes what it knows.
In addition to the fear of changing your life, maybe you are hesitant because it will change your relationships, or the people around you will affect their lives. Again, the question must be, what brought you peace and are you now at peace with the way you are living? Only you can know the answer to this, but at the root of true love we want those we love to realize their dreams. They may not be able to experience our dreams with us, but love lets go and rejoices in the peace of the one we love. And who knows, having the courage to follow your dreams may inspire someone else, perhaps someone you love, to do the same for themselves.
3. Consciously use your mindset for success
What we tell ourselves, our subconscious believes as reality. Knowing this, we must be aware of our thoughts, our mindset and how we talk to ourselves about realizing our dreams. In other words, if we tell ourselves that we can’t possibly do it (insert dream that won’t leave you alone), then our subconscious mind takes it as fact and won’t help us achieve it. Conversely, if you either start repeating affirmations or change your mindset that indeed, one day you will realize this dream, it is possible and just a matter of time, your subconscious already accepts it as fact and keeps your mind open to see opportunities and keeps you moving towards it instead of coming in your way and blocking any progress.
To dive a little deeper to remove limiting beliefs, take a moment to write down all your fears and why you think they are obstacles to making your dreams a reality. Look at each item on your list; Next to each, write the belief you hold that led you to accept it as true.
For example:
- I cannot buy my own house because it is too much responsibility for one person.
- Limited Confidence: You are unable to handle responsibilities. (This is false. You may never have had to tend to some or all of these responsibilities before, but you can learn. And if you don’t know how at first, you can reach out to people who have.)
- Limited faith: Every house involves the same responsibility. (This is false. Every home has a different requirement for maintenance, utilities, maintenance, mortgage, fees, taxes, etc.)
- I can’t travel and enjoy long vacations in my favorite country. (Let’s take France). I can’t stay more than a couple of weeks.
- Limited trust: Paperwork is cumbersome for long stays. (This is false. First, you can stay in France without a visa for up to 90 days within a 180-day window. Just buy a ticket and find and reserve your accommodations. Now go to France and enjoy your vacation!)
These are two examples, but the reality is that we often present beliefs about why our dreams will be difficult or impossible to achieve that are not correct, but we have accepted a belief, usually a vague idea, and not investigated further.
Once you have your list, go through each limiting belief one by one and look at it logically, do your homework, gather information. It may take time because you have to find experienced people or experts to do what you want to do, but once you have more information, fear and hesitation start to subside almost immediately.
4. Create a clear action plan
Depending on our dreams, we may have more or fewer variables outside of our control that will affect our timeline. Either way, we’re still making our dreams come true, and we can definitely write down the things we’ve accomplished Once we write them down, put them in order and then put them on your calendar
I like to put my big result on a piece of paper, then list all the necessary actions to make the end result happen. For example, when bringing each of my books to publication, I made a list of what I needed to do, what work I needed to source, and it was done in an order so that I could easily go and check it off one by one, making sure I had completed what I needed to before moving on to the next task.
While I appreciate the SMART goal approach, the approach I prefer and have found to work better for me is the one explored in the book. An artist’s delight By Merideth Hite Estevez, her CRAFT method.
in his book An artist’s delight, Estevez teaches his new acronym for achieving goals:
- cRe-process, not product
- AndHire us for the help you need
- AWork with our values
- fEnables work with constraints
- Twist and turn, but keep stepping forward
What his approach recognizes is that we need to make room to move, dance with unexpected opportunities, and keep our minds open. We still have a framework created by our clarity of what our dreams are, but we focus more how We march towards it, and less when We will arrive concretely. We believe that we will arrive because we are consciously moving forward, even if tomorrow we have to take smaller steps than we expected.
With this approach, I find that the end result is richer, more nourishing, and more peaceful than my original vision.
5. Nurture yourself daily along the way
Surround yourself with uplifting, inspiring people, reading and listening content that strengthens your confidence in your choices and spend time in environments that boost your energy. Be aware of how you feel at the end of the day, and find balance by honoring when you need to slow down and rest, and choosing times of day when you feel motivated to engage in productive activities.
Check in with your dreams regularly. Put something on an often-seen bulletin board, wall, or mirror that reminds you of what you’re working toward, and seeing it, sustains and ignites your being to believe in yourself.
6. Understand that challenges will happen, but they are happening to reinforce what you need to successfully reach and experience your dreams for many years to come.
Once we adopted Abundance mentality or a Growth mindsetWe’ve also embraced the idea that just because an unwanted setback occurs, or a delay, or something we didn’t plan for doesn’t mean that the dream was destined to happen.
Whenever I have clarity about something about a dream I’m moving towards, I’m laser-focused, so naturally my lizard mind (if I don’t keep my mind in check) gets rattled by procrastination. However, once I realize what’s really going on – I get upset because I know where I want to go and how to get there – then, I examine myself and pause to be grateful for this knowledge that I didn’t always have.
When we remember the times when we started the journey before achieving our dreams when we didn’t know what we were looking for or what would make us feel at peace or encourage us, our realization deepens because in just knowing our dreams, how to reach their realization, we have traveled a great distance.
And I’ll continue with my example about being annoyed by procrastination. We don’t know when that delay will suddenly resolve itself. But if we stop or go back, we’ll never know. Sometimes it takes a delay to see if we really want to move in the direction we are going. And in other instances, they teach us things we don’t yet understand that will be invaluable in ensuring that we not only reach our dreams, but thrive when we do.
Dreaming takes time. Meaningful dreams almost always will. But with clarity of purpose and the direction we set our sails with our focus (ie, time, energy), we will eventually find the shores of our desired landing port. Keep these six steps in mind, check in with them to remind yourself whenever you’re in doubt that you’re doing better along the way than you realize, and I’m sure (and cheering you on from afar) you’ll come around. (Psst, feel free to email me when you do and share the good news! ☺️)
Similar posts you might enjoy
