my dear son,
i amBought it for you in Reykjavík without knowing exactly why my hand reached for it before my mind could explain itself. It hung quietly, innocuous, silver against the black fabric, not screaming for attention the way souvenirs often do. I sensed something old in it. Some are patient. Something I didn’t need persuading. The most important things usually come this way.
This symbol is called road sign (Icelandic for “wayfinder”).
An old Icelandic beard carried by those who fear being lost Not just lost in the fog or snow or the long darkness of winter, but lost in themselves. Faith was simple and humble. If you carry it, you will find your way through harsh conditions even if you cannot see the road ahead. Not because it will remove the danger, but because it will remind you how to get through it.
That distinction is important.
I want to tell you why.
There will be moments in your life when the map disappears.
When the plan you believed in falls apart.
The rules you followed no longer seem to apply.
You will feel disoriented.
You will feel late.
You will feel as if everyone else has been given instructions that you have somehow missed.
This is the human condition.
What this symbol taught me is that guidance doesn’t always come as instructions. Sometimes it comes as adaptation.
Look at it closely. It doesn’t point one way. That’s a lot of points. Each arm reaches outward, different in shape, different in direction, all anchored to a single center. That’s the center part I remember you.
The world will offer you a thousand ways and scream that one of them is right. It will surely be rewarding. It will appreciate the speed. This would confuse movement with progress. At that moment, the danger is not choosing wrong. The danger is forgetting where you stand.
The center does not respond. It is an anchor.
When you don’t know what to do, you fall back on what you value.
When you don’t know who to trust, go back to what feels right in your body.
When your thoughts race and sound louder, back to your breath, your feet on the ground, you are here and alive and able to take the next step without needing to see the whole road.
This symbol does not guarantee safety. Iceland has never promised safety. That land is forged by fire and ice. Volcanoes and glaciers. Creation and destruction live side by side without forgiveness. The people there did not survive even pretending that the land was gentle. They have survived by respecting it. By preparing for uncertainty. Learns how to move when the situation goes against them.
That is what I hope you will learn.
There is no need for life without storms.
You need the ability to keep walking when the weather changes.
You need the humility to admit you don’t know everything.
You need the courage to be present instead of panicking when the future refuses to articulate itself.
There will be times when you feel broken.
Losses will come.
Despair will visit.
You make choices that don’t age well. You’ll look back and wonder if you knew what you knew then. That pain is not a sign of weakness. This is proof of growth.
Wayfinder doesn’t erase regret. It teaches you how to keep it going.
I think you’ll carry it around someday, maybe without thinking too much, maybe tucked under a shirt or lying against your chest. I imagine you casually touch on it during a difficult conversation.
Or when you feel alone in a crowded room.
Or when you’re standing on the edge of a decision that seems too big for the current version of yourself.
At that point, I hope you remember this.
You do not need to have it all figured out in order to proceed. There is no more delay in your life. You are not behind. you are becoming
Direction comes from movement, not the other way around.
There is something else in this symbol that is important.
Each arm is different, yet none cancel out the others.
Strength and Vigilance.
Action and moderation.
Reason and intuition.
You don’t have to choose just one version of yourself to be complete.
You can be thoughtful and brave.
You can be gentle and firm.
You can ask for more while being grateful for what you have.
The world will try to make it easy for you. Don’t let it happen.
Bear complexity with grace.
And if one day you find yourself truly lost, not geographically but spiritually, remember that lost is not the opposite of found. It’s part of the process. Fog doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you are somewhere new.
This symbol was not magic. Its power has never been in metal. Its power resides in the vast landscape and reminders offered to fearful people facing uncertain futures.
You will not survive by controlling the terrain.
You will survive by learning how to move through it with awareness and respect.
I cannot walk your way for you. I don’t want to. Your life must be yours in a way that mine never could be. But if I may leave you anything, let it be this quiet permission.
You are slowly being let go.
You are allowed to change your mind.
You are allowed to believe in yourself even when you feel insecure.
The path forward does not always reveal itself in a straight line.
Sometimes it spirals.
Sometimes it doubles.
Sometimes it asks you to stand still long enough to listen.
Wherever you go, whatever weather you encounter, you remember your center.
Act with integrity even when certainty is not available.
You can learn to walk without certainty.
That’s what this object means to me.
That’s what I hope it turns out to be for you.
father
–
This post was Previously published at medium.com.
Love affair? We promise a better stay with your inbox.
Subscribe to get dating and relationship advice 3x weekly.
do you know We have 8 publications on Medium. Join us there!
***
–
Photo credit: DA vector in unsplash
