Many years ago, I distinctly remember a strange victory celebration. I just spent a day overthinking a problem.
I was triggered by the end of another situation. I can feel them pulling away. Something changed, but I didn’t have an answer. I was stuck in that painful limbo space.
For that day, I did what I always did. I replayed conversations in my head, searched for hidden meanings, imagined different scenarios and mentally rehearsed what I would say if I could turn back time. I checked my phone more times than I can count and searched YouTube for answers. At the end of the day, I was mentally exhausted, yet as usual, no closer to the answer.
This time it felt like a victory that the spiral only lasted a day. It may sound like a long time, but for me, I knew it was progress. My usual pattern was spending a week or more by a single problem (or a single person).
I remember thinking, “If I can cut it down one day, surely I can cut it down even more.” That inner knowledge changed everything. And it turns out, I could.
Potential rejection, unclear people, mistakes and uncertainty were my biggest triggers. Whenever they showed up, I spiraled and found myself completely consumed by my thoughts, meaning I often felt anxious, distressed and desperate for answers.
Yet somehow, from the outside, I really felt like a confident friend and colleague who had it together.
To cope, I would try to fix the problem in my head, talk about it endlessly with specific people, endlessly research and test things, and analyze the situation from every perspective imaginable. No matter how much I cared, I rarely felt better.
Finally, after losing myself many times and doing a fair bit of soul searching, I became aware of my mental habits and their effect on me. I knew something had to change. I was spending too much time in my own head and I was able to go back far enough to see that it was becoming a problem. I identify myself as a professional overthinker.
Acknowledging your overthinking is a win. This means you’ve moved away from being on autopilot and become aware of these ubiquitous habits stuck inside your head.
That said, in my experience, many people who openly call themselves professional overthinkers don’t feel able to stop a spiral.
An important part of overcoming overthinking is identifying the specific overthinking style you fall into.
Overthinking styles are different ways in which overthinking is shown. They are not about the exact content of your thoughts but the pattern your mind follows when it gets stuck.
Here are seven styles of overthinking. Which one or two do you relate to the most?
worry
Your mind races to all the things that could go wrong in the future. You’re not only imagining problems and worst-case scenarios, but you’re planning and trying to prepare or prevent them, and this often deals with hypothetical scenarios.
Helpful questions: Is this a real problem that I need to deal with now or a hypothetical worry that my mind is trying to prepare?
the buzz
This is when your mind keeps going back to the past. You remember things that bother you or try to make sense of things that are gone. You replay conversations, decisions or mistakes, trying to figure things out. In this case you are analyzing what you should have said or done differently and why things turned out the way they did.
Helpful questions: Am I learning something new, or am I repeating the same information?
Threat Monitoring
You’ll know this is happening when you feel yourself on high alert. If you are someone who scans your inner or outer world for anything wrong. Instead of relaxing into the situation, you’re always watching for danger, rejection, or signs that things are off track, even in normal everyday moments.
Internally, you notice every sensation or mood and think something bad is happening, or externally, you look for signs and red flags.
Helpful reminder: just because my mind is looking for a threat doesn’t mean there is one.
Fix-it mode
It masquerades itself as positive (and at times, it can be). When you feel that you need to address your thoughts or feelings directly, as if you are a problem that needs to be solved.
You don’t just sit with the uncertainty. You start analyzing it from every angle, convince yourself with different explanations, weigh all the options and try to “think your way” to the right answer.
It can even turn into self-help overthinking, where you endlessly try to come up with the perfect mindset or solution but end up focusing on the trigger instead of actually feeling better or moving on.
Helpful Questions: What if I don’t need to fix it right away?
Self-criticism
We are our own worst critics. This is when you give yourself a hard time, put yourself down and dismiss your self-worth. Instead of just noticing a mistake, change or problem, your mind starts judging you for it, telling you that you should have done better, or that something is wrong with you because of it, and it’s usually relentless.
Helpful question: If a friend were in my position, would I talk to them this way?
Self-centered attention
It has an interesting and strong crossover with threat monitoring for me. It’s basically becoming too self-aware.
This style is when your focus is very inward. Instead of being present in the present moment, you become overly aware of yourself – how you come across, what you say or how you are perceived by others.
You may wonder if you sound intelligent enough, if you’re awkward, if you talk too much, or if the other person likes you. In social situations, it can feel like you’re constantly seeing yourself through the eyes of others.
Helpful Steps: Gently redirect your attention outward to the present moment and environment.
Intrusive thoughts
This style includes thoughts, images, urges, or emotional situations that seem to come to you out of nowhere. They can be strange, uncomfortable, embarrassing or even annoying. One moment you’re going about your day, and the next your mind throws you an intrusive thought.
Intrusive thoughts are a natural part of being human. Almost everyone experiences them from time to time. However, some people have an intrusive thought, find it strange and move on. Others are gripped by it and immediately take on extra thought.
Helpful reminder: A thought is not a truth or a reflection of who I am.
As you read the seven styles, you may recognize yourself in one, more, or all of them. It is completely normal. There is no simple right/wrong, and certainly no good/bad. The goal here is not to completely categorize your extra thoughts. Instead, use it as a tool to understand the patterns your mind falls into or moves into.
I truly believe that once you recognize your overthinking style, you can begin to break out of it or at least respond to it in a more helpful way by finding the right strategies and interventions for that particular pattern.
The next time you find yourself in a spiral, pull up this list and ask: WIs it an overthinking style? This question alone is often enough to interrupt the mental loop and bring you back to yourself and the moment. That moment of recognition may seem small, but it’s often the first real step in getting out of autopilot and back in control of your own mind.
I used to celebrate spending a day just thinking about a situation. Now it usually doesn’t last even long. The main difference is that I can notice it much earlier and recognize it for what it is: a familiar overthinking style that I want to address or fix.
about Carly Ann
Carly Ann is an online psychotherapist and podcast host specializing in self-esteem. She works with people who appear happy but struggle with self-doubt, anxiety, and repetitive patterns in relationships or social situations. Carly Ann helps people understand the deep roots of their problems, break cycles of helplessness, and build a lasting sense of confidence and self-esteem. He is passionate about sharing tools and insights many of us are not taught website / Instagram / Podcast: Lessons in Self-Esteem
