Buzzword at work: “Restroom lurkers” crying in the bathroom

The new workplace buzzword “restroom hiding” names a behavior you may have seen in your workplace — employees hiding in the bathroom because they’re bored, overwhelmed, or just need a break. Peter Duris, CEO and co-founder of AI Career Tools Kickresum Prepared comments about restroom hiding, as well as tips for employees and managers on what to do if people feel the need to hide in the bathroom.

Peter Durris, CEO and co-founder of Kickresum, commented:

“Between us Recent surveysWe asked people what kind of informal breaks they take at work and 44% said they take “bathroom breaks to keep the peace.” That’s not necessarily a bad thing — for many of us, if you’re having a stressful day, sometimes all you need is a minute to go somewhere quiet and collect yourself. The restroom is somewhere you can go to get some privacy.

“However, it can be a problem if people are so stressed that they feel the need to go back to the restroom frequently. It’s even more of a problem if employees hide in the bathroom for long periods of time, feeling too anxious to come back. If you notice this happening in your workplace, it can be a sure sign that people feel overwhelmed or unsupported.

“Our survey found that while 44% of men take breaks in the rest room, women are much more likely to do so at 53%. And while most of these breaks are short, 10% of workers say they hide there for more than 10 minutes at a time.”

Tips for workers

• Reflect on why you’re “hiding in the toilet”: If you find yourself hiding in the toilet often, take a minute to think about why — is the problem your day job, or are you currently feeling stressed by something in your life outside of work?
• Be open with your manager. Tell your manager if you are having problems at work. Talk to them privately about how what you’re feeling is affecting your ability to function, whether it’s an unmanageable workload or difficult mental health. You don’t have to disclose anything you don’t feel comfortable sharing, but a good manager will want to support you and see if anything can be done to make things easier.
• Support your colleagues if you can. If you hear someone crying in the restroom, they may not feel comfortable talking to you about it, but if you gently say, “I hope you’re okay, let me know if I can help.” They may feel embarrassed that someone sees or hears them crying in the restroom, but a kind word goes a long way.

Tips for managers

• Make time for regular one-on-one time with your team. This will help you check in on people’s wellbeing, creating a space where they can talk to you privately and raise any issues they may be facing.
• Help your team prioritize. If your employees feel overwhelmed because it’s too busy and they can’t handle the workload, work with them to identify which tasks need to be done as a matter of urgency and which can wait. If this happens a lot, it may be that you need to advocate for your department to hire more staff.
• Provide a break room if you can, or create an environment where employees know it’s okay to take a break from their desk when they need to. If someone seems visibly upset, ask them if they need a minute to themselves. The reason could be work-related, or it could be something in their personal life – and they should feel no pressure to explain.