Being on top is very tempting. You get accolades, awards, recognition and all the greatness that comes with it.
I felt on top when my nightclub was #1 in town. The validation felt great, and I don’t want to downplay that at all.
But what you quickly realize is that none of this defines your importance.
Unfortunately, when we’re not on top, it’s easy to feel like things are going wrong. As if we are not as important as we could (or should) be.
What defines your importance?
First things first, if winning or being on top doesn’t define your importance… what does?
- Are you a good person?
- How do you feel about yourself?
- What is the quality of your relationship?
- What kind of impact do you have on the people around you, your community or the world?
…
At the end of the day, your importance comes from the things you value most. Defining your values will help you decide what is important to you.
If you value your friends and family, nurturing your relationships will help increase your importance.
If you value kindness or health, then respecting others and acting on them will make you feel important.
However, you don’t have to be the best at those things to be important.
Being the best is not a sustainable value because there can only be one person. Moreover, it is temporary.
Common misconceptions
Many people are super competitive (myself included). Part of it is the world we grew up in, and another part is based on really living.
Being competitive has its advantages. But you don’t always win.
Earlier, I wrote about the value of being in the middle. You can be happy there regardless.
But happiness aside, being on top still doesn’t define how important you are.
You don’t have to be the CEO of a company to have a massive impact on those around you.
You don’t have to be the best player in the NBA to inspire others to play.
You don’t have to be the smartest person alive to create great inventions that benefit the lives of many people.
Who are you really?
The hard truth is that most of the time, people feel important, not because they are on top, but how they see themselves.
If every time you look in the mirror, you’re disappointed… then you won’t feel important.
This is often the result of comparing yourself to others.
You just need to change your perspective.
Stop comparing yourself to others and instead, compare yourself to who you were yesterday.
Are you lifting more at the gym?
Have you made a positive impact on someone else’s life?
Has your business earned another happy customer?
It really comes down to the metrics by which you are measuring yourself.
While challenging yourself is important, realistic measurements of progress are also important.
love yourself
Not only are you constantly improving, but you will need constant self-reflection to realize that you deserve all the love in the world.
You’ll grow, you’ll love yourself more, and you’ll be encouraged to be better (which will make you feel more important anyway).
Change your metrics, change how you see yourself and double down on what you stand for.
If you do, the success you once strived for will no longer matter.
Thanks for reading
