I really hate myself at this point.
For all the time you are just there and I choose not to say anything.
Every time our eyes meet then I look away.
All the while I turned my face away to avoid the side.
I’ll miss you every time you’re around. And when you’re away, I’ll miss you a thousand times more.
I cannot undo these things that happened in the past. I can’t even say your name in front of you out of sheer embarrassment.
Yes, this is awkward me. A man who doesn’t care what the world thinks. The boy is confused about matters of the heart.
I don’t know how long I will stay like this. I have been trying to improve myself but haven’t made much progress. It is painful. Much more than anyone can imagine. I deeply regret all the times I ran away or ignored you. Every single one of them. Yet I just couldn’t help it.
I do not expect you to understand or accept these words. But I thought I’d let you know just in case you’re a little curious.
I just want more time. Maybe we can start over.
But all the time in the world won’t be enough because we’re just like a pair of train tracks — always close but never together.
So today, like any other day, I wake up hoping something will change. And tonight, like any other night, I’ll bury all my regrets.
