I believed love was effort
There was a time I believed that if I loved more, explained better, adjusted more and prayed more deeply — things would line up.
I believed love was tolerance.
I remember a friend, I will call her Adya. Bright, warm, generous. She dated a man who was charming in public and cold in private. He forgot her birthday but posted a long caption about “my queen”. He dismissed his worries as “overthinking.” When she cried, he called her dramatic.
But when asked about the relationship, he would say:
“She didn’t grow up seeing healthy love. I just have to be patient.”
Patience became self-effacement.
They got engaged. The wedding was beautiful.
The wedding? Very tiring.
Because she married Asha, not Pattern.
Marriage does not change character.
It simply magnifies it.
