In one of its modules Reprogram your primal brain we notice Disappointment…
Why?
Because fear of despair can freeze people in their tracks!
Fear of not being good enough can keep people from writing a report or newsletter.
Fear of not being told doesn’t stop people from asking for what they want.
Fear of bad times stops people from going to parties or hanging out with their friends.
It may seem trivial… but most of us “learned” about depression when we were kids. A young child wants a lot. And when he doesn’t get what he wants, it hurts. Most people don’t know how to calm or comfort a child around depression. They just want their crying to stop. They say things like:
– This is life!
– Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.
– Stop crying!
– You are a spoiled bride!
– If you keep doing this, you will get nothing!
Or they may ignore the child. Heart Time…
None of these things help the child understand what to do or how to feel better. The pain feels overwhelming, feels like there is no support (in fact, there is judgment around the feeling!) This can create a “log jam” in the primitive brain.
The primitive brain might decide… “Oh no! Depression is really dangerous. We should avoid it at all costs.”
Ask yourself… Do you feel shy or afraid of getting hurt when you:
– Ask a friend for a favor?
– Want a raise?
– Plan something that should be fun with friends?
– Buy something special for yourself?
Desperation hurts! Hopes and dreams can be delicious, and when we have to change direction to find something new, it can hurt. But humans don’t have to hurt as much as they think, once the primitive brain relaxes about it (and reprograms).
Most people don’t feel crushed if the nearest gas station is closed for repairs… they shrug their shoulders and go to the next one. It’s a bit extra work and thought, but it doesn’t hurt.
Moving on to the next best dreams and hopes can be the same. Especially because, as an adult, there are so many more options and so much more energy.
A 3-year-old has limited options and not much experience. That 3-year-old can’t shrug and approach the parent across the street, and doesn’t have the experience to know that other options come in time.
Most people react to depression by age 3, because they learned that depression was overwhelming and final when they were young children. And, the primitive brain, by default, sees the world like a 3-year-old, even when we’re 53.
With some tweaking and cleaning (we go deeper into this Reprogram your primal brain and clean out your hidden pockets of fear and hurt), despair isn’t so scary. You return the dress that didn’t really go with those shoes. You’re laughing because dinner is burnt and sitting on the floor eating pizza with your friends. You attract a new friend to help you with your project. You start looking at new options because you’re not crushed by the pain of depression.
There are new dreams around the corner. There’s new hope and more fun just around the corner. Man does not need to be held like a small child screaming for his blanket. And when they can let go and open up, they can find beautiful new hopes and dreams.
Let’s do something EFT Tapping:
Hand Side (Karate Chop): Although depression has hurt a lot in the past… I am open to feeling calm and confident and releasing old fears and beliefs.
Although I avoid depression like avoiding electric shocks in the winter, but it keeps ringing me, I’m ready to calm and comfort my primitive brain so it doesn’t have to hurt so much… and I see new options.
Even though it has hurt like crazy in the past, and a part of me has learned to play small and quiet so I don’t get hurt, I choose to let go of this pain around depression so I can find more strength and comfort.
Above the head: I’m afraid of disappointment.
Eyebrows: It hurts just as much as it did back in the day!
Eye direction: I don’t want to hurt so much again, ever!
Under the eyes: The pain felt like it was going to crush me…
Under the nose: Like my heart will break.
Chin: I was, however, a small child.
Collarbone: And I didn’t know how to calm myself down.
Underarm: No one knew how to calm me down.
Above the head: I send love and condolences to that little one.
Eyebrows: He did his best in the midst of pain and confusion.
Eye direction: He decided that despair was terrifying.
Under the eyes: Because he had no way to deal with it.
Under the nose: I can deal with it now.
Chin: I can see it in baby steps…
Collarbone: I’m tapping as I go.
Underarm: I can chat with anyone who is willing to listen.
Above the head: That support means a lot.
Eyebrows: This means my primitive brain will not feel alone!
Eye direction: And I can remind myself…
Under the eyes: That’s long before this big hit.
Under the nose: When I’m lost and abandoned and stuck.
Chin: I now have many more options.
Collarbone: I don’t always get what I want…
Underarm: But when I relax and release…
Above the head: I found that I got more than I expected.
Take a deep breath.
First…congratulate yourself for tapping into something solid and giving yourself this gift. You are doing great!
Sometimes the universe tells us no… sometimes a friend tells us no. But when we don’t get stuck… when it’s not “proof” to our primal brain that… we’re not safe… we’re not loved enough… we’re not capable of getting what we want… sometimes the most delicious thing happens. We find that we get something better than what we originally wanted.
If memories or thoughts come to you as you tap, write them down and tap them… or join us Reprogram your primal brain Where we let you tap and clear those old hurts, so you can find freedom, relaxation and fun!
Warm greetings to you all!
Cathy and Rick
