fate
The human mind is obsessed with the unchanging past. Our minds are preoccupied with imaginary futures. We try to shape the narrative. We make decisions that don’t make decisions. We try to influence the actions of others, but the results rarely give us what we want.
Many struggle against a river that flows south but forcefully changes course to the north.
Everyone is telling their world to spin in a direction that God has already determined it will never spin. The sun never rises in the west. The sun will never set in the east.
There is only one thing we can control. While this may sound like philosophy my message is a verifiable fact that will prevent you from self-destructing your relationship.
Free choice of response
No one is forced to live in negative attitudes, bad feelings or worries. We all own our bodies. We can decide what is going on in our minds.
We may not be able to control what happens to us but each of us can control how we respond to it.
Reactions are emotions. Response is choice. Rarely would a response be the response most of us would choose if we could reconsider our actions.
This conflict between reaction and response is the source of regret.
We regret our reactions not our choices
Almost everyone I know who has made an informed decision, which produced an unexpected outcome, has not expressed regret for their decision when I ask them about their feelings on the matter.
This is mainly because people made the choices they made based on the best information anyone could make at the time.
Failure is a great teacher. Victory is a great time. Lessons are hard to learn when one is enjoying oneself. There is little reason to ask oneself whether something else could have been done to improve a wonderful turn of events. Most simply enjoy the results.
i do I bet you are as well. It’s hard to criticize success. When you feel in love it’s hard to ask yourself if there is something more you can feel more loved for.
Asking yourself how you can fall more in love seems almost crazy.
Most regret is an emotional response. For example, imagine you say, ‘I want a divorce‘ when you don’t mean it. It’s hard to back a definitive statement on a temporary impulse. None the less, a final statement can do permanent damage.
How to stop these crazy thoughts briefly
Knowing your emotional thoughts is not you. You don’t have to own every thought. It is not necessary to follow every thought you think. This is especially true when you are in a heightened state of anxiety, anger, or sadness. Give these crazy thoughts a label or even a name. Then acknowledge them. After you’ve acknowledged them, say, “That’s interesting. I’ll think about it later and decide if I want to do it.”
Then see how different the response is from the response. I bet these crazy thoughts will stop coming because your mind will learn that they are not worth much. Try it for 21 days and let me know in the comments how it worked for you.
Concluding verse
The Final Testament. Holy Quran. Surah (2:226) “Those who want to divorce their wives have to wait four months (cooling off).; If they change their mind and reconciliationThen God is Forgiving, Merciful.“
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Sign up for free to hear for free In my chapter “Many ways to profit“To read about how I see things. My dynamic form of observing and reframing will help you accomplish things like what I discuss in today’s article. I have a free podcast Hustle kick Also which teaches you how to hustle for free.
You can pick up a copy of my international best-selling and award-winning book, “I made it then I didn’t” as well as for deep insight into some of the psychology I use to get me through difficult situations.
This article is meant to provoke thought – not argument. It is a way of opening the mind to alternative ideologies based on what one reads – not what one hears. Beliefs are personal and of course I respect everyone’s personal beliefs. I don’t condemn anyone for choosing whatever path — obviously I mean choosing my own.
Your knowledge is for success!
