Some of us became the ones that everyone needed and gradually forgot who we were.
We quickly learned how to read the room. How to feel tense before speaking. How to shapeshift into any version of ourselves that keeps the peace, avoids conflict, prevents rejection, or makes everyone else more comfortable.
Somewhere along the way, survival begins to take on the guise of personality.
Caretaking becomes identity.
Over-explanation became normal.
Depression became known.
And honestly, many of us have become so adept at carrying everyone else’s emotions that we’ve stopped even noticing how disconnected we are from our own.
Healing begins that change.
Quiet at first.
Then all at once.
We begin to notice how tired we really are. How much noise we carry internally. How often our nervous system is operating in survival mode when talking about love, loyalty, responsibility or compassion.
And slowly, something begins to unwindow.
Strictly not.
Not selfish.
Just honestly.
The beautiful thing is that we don’t have to stop loving people for peace. It simply asks us to stop abandoning ourselves in the process.
And for some of us, it may be one of the hardest lessons we’ll ever learn.
I think many of us were taught that everyone else needed us long before we knew who we really were.
So I’m curious…
At what point in your life did you realize that you were shape-shifting, over-caring, people-pleasing, over-explaining, or giving up parts of yourself in order to maintain peace in your relationships or environment?
And what helped you find your way back to yourself?
If it resonates deeply, share it. Many people are quietly tired of carrying identities created in survival mode.
Always loving and praying for you and our world,
–
This post was Previously published at medium.com.
Love affair? We promise a better stay with your inbox.
Subscribe to get dating and relationship advice 3x weekly.
do you know We have 8 publications on Medium. Join us there!
***
–
Photo credit: Rene’ Schooler(author)
